Posted in Our Story

Finding The Meaning

We lost the second buyer for our house. At the airport, waiting to fly back to Denver, our realtor called and told us there was a termination of contract on our house.

What??? The buyer had been at our house for the past 3 days! His offer included that he would do all the things required to secure his VA loan. This would mean finishing a few items we’d dropped the ball on. We had begun to cover the soffits over the summer but were distracted by Annabeth’s love for water! We chose to spend our days filling up her pool and throwing dinner on the smoker. The buyer had been there the previous weekend with his girlfriend to finish that project. We came home to find that he’d painted the trim around the garage doors and finished painting the window trim on the house. He even took the time to paint the two supports we’d made to hold the window a/c units. He painted a wall in our bedroom, the bathroom, and put up a couple pieces of trim. He also put some corrugated metal on our basement hatch to cover up some damaged plastic that we’d also never gotten around to replacing. That’s not entirely true. T.J. did completely rebuild half of it. That’s how quite a few things were left when Annabeth was born. Our house was frozen in time. Same reason why our bathroom had never been painted. We remodeled the bathroom when I was pregnant because I could no longer fit in the 32″ corner shower we had. Our bathroom was a tiny 5′ x 7′ and we decided to extend it into the bedroom closet for a whopping 7′ x 7′ luxury bathroom with a tub. This also meant we’d need to replace the closet for our bedroom, which still stands dressed in it’s bare drywall. Sounds lazy but we’ve renovated every inch of this house in 2014 and we didn’t have enough steam for round 2.

Why had he decided to terminate the contract? He was asking for $6,000 from us to replace our outdated electrical panel. It was functioning properly. You are purchasing our property for well under market value. There’s your first upgrade to the house. For a house built in 1914, seems pretty damn solid if the only issue is an outdated but perfectly functioning electrical panel. This was quite unexpected. It was so odd because we had denied the request the week prior to leaving for Raleigh. He knew that we were not going to pay for the panel. Why spend 3 days fixing up a house you’re not going to buy?

Not to mention that we’d lost our first buyer in a similarly abrupt fashion. They were married and expecting their first baby. They loved our property and we felt an immediate connection to them. I’d met them when they first saw the house because Annabeth was being a stink and refusing to get dressed. The husband teased her while I wrangled shoes onto her feet. He mentioned how much they loved the tire swing in the backyard and asked if she would like for them to live in her house. Within a few days of accepting their contract, their realtor called to say they had experienced a personal tragedy and were filled with tears. Our hearts were broken. More for them than the loss of the contract. We sent up prayers for them and their unborn child. Dear God, we beg you to keep that baby safe.

We fought infertility for 5 years before conceiving Annabeth. Being able to pass on the home that holds our most precious memories to a loving new family would mean the world to us. We closed on this house on Christmas Eve 2013. It was a HUD home and needed some tough love. Ferrets had chewed the baseboards and messed on the flooring. The kitchen featured a brick red sponge painted backsplash tile and two different styles of poorly handmade cabinets. In the bathroom was a 24″ x 24″ shower held up by hot pink duct tape. We took out 2 short, narrow doorways and transformed them into arched openings. We replaced flooring, baseboards, light fixtures, paint, remodeled kitchen and the bathroom (twice). We planted trees and hung lights for evenings under the stars.

People have been asking why things aren’t going smoothly for us. Some will even ask, “Don’t you think this is a sign that you should just stay in Colorado?” Our belief is that our timing is not lining up with His. Not to say that we are not meant to move but we do need to stay focused. We want to see things through His eyes and not our own. We are susceptible to fear and doubt. This is not the time to let it consume you. The buyer for our home and the job for T.J. are simply not ready yet. Should we give up and remain stagnant because all of the pieces aren’t neatly falling into place? You see, our goal was never to have a smooth transition. Our goal is to find happiness for our family. We are well aware that we will face challenges along the way. We do not want just anyone to buy our home. We are praying for a special family to make our house their own by keeping it alive with their most blessed memories. We are not just searching for a job. We want a work home that will fulfill T.J. in his career.

Consider that things may be coming easily to you because you are not aiming high enough.

I’m not going to share the details of our decision to leave Colorado. Most of them are personal and just none of your business. I will say that we are on a journey to find our joy. We have been letting outside influences determine our happiness. No more. We remain at peace with this move. Even amid all the chaos of selling our house and figuring out the right fit in a job. We’ve learned through all of the work we put into this house that the most difficult way to accomplish a project usually provides the best results. We are taking time to search within and be guided by our desire to better ourselves. Not a simple request. We are proud of that.

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