Mom, what color that stripe is? I think it gray. Your hair is gray.
Mom: Come take a nap with me.
AB: No, thank you.
Mom: Then stop asking the same question on repeat. It's exhausting me!
AB: Ok. Why not?
Dad: Please stop interrupting us while we are talking.
...Mom tries to finish what she was saying...
AB: Shut up, Mom.
Dad: That is rude, Annabeth! Be nice.
AB: Please shut up, Mom. That is nice. Right, Dad?
It’s not about Cooper. It’s all about me! 4-8-2019
Mom: It's Sunday.
AB: It is Moon Day, not Sunday. 4-14-2019
Blankets don’t keep you warm. Hugs do. 4-16-2019
AB: What is that called?
Mom: Purse. P-p-p purse.
AB: P-p-p Backpack. Got it? That is a backpack, Mom.
Mom: Are your shoes on the right feet?
AB: No. They are on the left foot and the right foot.
Dad: Mom sounds frustrated. What did you do to her?
AB: She just sounds like a mother, Dad.
Dad: Please stop talking while we pray.
AB: I can't. My mouth talks all by himself.
My bird feeder isn't finished! It needs a window. And a closet. 9.2019
Mom: Go put your nighttime panties (pull-up) in the white trash can, please.
AB: He wants to be in the green trash can. His family is in there. He doesn't want to be alone, Mom.
I just swallowed an ice. I'm going to swallow another one because the Mom needs to take care of her baby in my throat.
AB: I peed on the floor in the kitchen.
Mom: Where? Why?
AB: [hides soaking wet washcloth in the corner] Well, I have this.
[After listening to Taylor Swift- You Need To Calm Down]
AB: Mom, that is my song!
Mom: You said it. I was thinking it.
Dad: We love you, Annabeth.
AB: You do!? That is so nice, you guys!
Mom: Last time you told me you did not want macaroni & cheese, you wouldn't stop asking where your macaroni & cheese was!
AB: Yeah. I needed to calm down about that.
You do your job and I’ll do mine! 11-2019
AB: You be a kid and I be a Mom. Okay?
Mom: Ok. I'll be a kid. "What are you doing, Mom?"
AB: What does it look like I'm doing?
AB: Where are we going?
Mom: Sit down. None of your business.
AB: Oh... I never been to that place. That's what it's called? ... I think you're teasing.
Mom: I know being a kid is hard to understand. You cannot do things just because you want to and you are able to. Mom and Dad are here to guide you and keep you safe. Please follow our rules.
AB: Ok. I understand. I am the Mom and you are the kids.
Mom: You are taking this elderberry syrup because it strengthens your immune system. Your immune system protects you from bad germs that make you sick and some times it needs help.
AB: So this elderberry puts immune system super heroes in my body!?! That's cool.
Annabeth watched Lilo&Stitch yesterday.
Now T.J. is Experiment Number One and I am Experiment Number Two.
Mom, why is this popcorn still here? Did you think there was a trash can here? Silly Mom, this popcorn belongs in the trash can.
Annabeth might be a tough kid but she is a an excellent eater. We had ground turkey and mushroom taco meat stuffed mini bell peppers, pinto beans and kale topped with avocado, red onion, and sauteed zucchini and squash. She took one bite of the middle of a zucchini and ran away crying, “I need my water bottle!” I thought some of the jalapeno accidentally made it into the pan and asked her what was wrong. “That made me sad. It made my mouth sad.” She pouted as she pointed to the mushy center. 2-2020
AB: What is science?
Mom: Oh! Science is where you learn about how the trees grow and about the planets.
AB: I know! Like when the Queen says, "Science, King!"
My quesadilla is yucky. I think they put it in the trash can and took it back out. Then they put it on my plate!
AB sits on Dad's lap and lets one rip.
AB: It's okay, you like stinky things.
Dad: I just can't win...
AB: Yes you can. We can win together. We're the best farters.
"Old MacDonald had a farm, E-I-E-I-O. And on that farm he had a BEER!"
Thank you for testing out your new lyrics while we were in a crowded line at the hardware store!
AB: Biting is not nice.
Mom: Are you sure? The dogs bite each other when they play.
AB: That's their business, Mom. Not mine. 8/2020
AB: Mom, if girls just wanna have fun, what do boys wanna do?
Mom: Good question. What do you think they want to do all day?
AB: Boys just wanna go poop like Dad does all day. 8/2020
Mom: Why won't you go back to sleep?
AB: Remember the song? Girls just wanna have fun! That's me! I am a girl and I just wanna have fun. 9/2020
AB: Mom, what body part is that? I know every body part but not that one. It's HUGE!
Mom: This? My muffin top? Thank a lot, Annabeth. 1/2021
Dear Lord, please help Dad not to go Zzzuzz Zuzzz when he is working with that little white stick (electrical wire). 3/2021
AB: What is that little piece of white next to your eye? Mom: A sleepy seed. AB: I want it! I can plant it in the backyard and we can grow little plants that say ‘Honk shoo, honk shoo.’
Dad: Where is it? AB: Outside. Dad: Outside is a big place. Where exactly? AB: In the dark. I’ll go get it. I am responsible. 4/2021
AB: What is 81+1?
AB: What is 81+82?
AB: I get it! So 10+1=11 and 10+2=12
Trying to teach a valuable life lesson-
Mom: You have to work really hard to get what you want and make your dreams come true.
AB: I know! Like this [exaggerated pouty lip and doe eyes]. It takes a lot of hard work to do this right so I can get what I want. 5/2021
AB: Mom, what is your favorite store?
Dad: I think it's Costco. Costco has a very special place in Mom's heart.
AB: What place is that? The wine section?
AB: Where are we going?
AB: Well, Target is looking a lot like home.
Dad: What is to point of playing a game?
AB: #1- Don't lose. #2- Win #3- Chips&Dip.
AB: Mom, did God make the Home Depot people first? So they could help all His people build and fix things. 7/2021
Dad: There are a lot of things that you get to do that other kids do not.
AB: That's not true. I do not get to ride a motorcycle.
AB: Will you pierce my ears?
Mom: No. I don't think I could do that. I couldn't hurt you and make you cry.
AB: Well, you make me cry all the time. So, just pierce my ears already.
Mom: Can we go through just one day without talking about death? Please.
AB: We did that yesterday. Die. Die. Die.
Dad: That's why I sold my big red toolbox. We bought a pickup truck.
AB: Why? I thought you would use the money to buy something important! Like something for your daughter. 8.2021
My friend is not a talker. You know how ants don’t like the rain? That’s how much she doesn’t like to talk. 8.2021
Mom: Try to make better decisions and do what is right.
AB: But doing the wrong thing sounds like fun! Doesn't it, Mom?
Mom: Please go potty and stop playing on the toilet.
AB: Look, do you know when a car is driving all around looking for a parking spot?
AB: I am trying to tell him where to park but he keeps driving all over trying to find a spot. It's just going to take time, Mom. Give him a minute.
Mom: How stupid do you think we are, Annabeth?
AB: How stupid do you think you are?
Dad: It's time to go to bed, Annabeth. Calm down and go to sleep.
AB: How would you feel if someone made you go to bed right in the middle of the game you were watching, Dad? 11.2021
I recently explained registered trademarks to Annabeth. She called me into the shower to inform me that she will begin putting an 'R' with a circle around it after her name so no one else can have it.
As I walk out of the bathroom, I hear an evil laugh followed by a whisper "Now I can be the only one..."
I caught Annabeth sleep walking and tried to guide her back to bed.
AB: I can't see! Where am I?
Mom: You are in the bedroom. It's okay, sweetie.
AB: This is not okay. I cannot see the door or your beautiful face!
Mom: I think you are still asleep. Your eyes are closed.
AB: I need to go potty.
[Incoherent crying and distress about never being able to see again while peeing on the toilet with her eyes squeezed shut]
AB: Hurry up.
Dad: I am doing the best I can.
AB: Well, you're lazy slow.
Annabeth has been trying to convince me to get her a hula hoop lately.
She gets in the car today and asks, "Mom, don't I look like a girl who has a hula hoop?"
Mom: Why didn't you put this away where it belongs?
AB: Because I'm a kid. I am not a super cleaner or your servant.
AB: Sometimes I don't want to be on. I want to turn off. Like when I'm at school all day, I am on. When I get home,I want to be off. Then when I am in the process of turning back on, I may just be medium.
Mom: Why can't you stay turned off until you're ready to turn back on again?
AB: I don't make that decision. My body tells me how it feels.
AB: Henry, I know my mom had yellow teeth but she is NOT a pirate! 7.2022
AB: Henry! Go back and wash your hands! We wash our hands after going to the bathroom in this house!
[Mom snaps back when she comes out of the bathroom without washing her hands the following day]
AB: Mom, I was trying to save him from his gross self.
I don’t like color by number painting. I don’t need them bossing me around. I want to do things my way. 7.2022
Sleep talking Annabeth: I love you, my can opener. 7.2022
Annabeth has been keeping a calendar lately. I asked what she's writing on it and she says, "Try To Be Nice To Mom Day" 7.2022
Mom: You're acting like a jerk.
AB: I am what I am.